I’ve had a nanny for about the past three months or so. I have two small children and have had live-in nannies in the past, who have been able to work long hours, keep the house clean, etc as long as I make sure I cover all their housing, food expenses, etc. Then on top of that I pay them $1500 per month.

This nanny I’ve done my best to make a part of the family because of her lonely background. But I’ve a few issues: A- she is constantly on the phone to her long-distance boyfriend who is very rough and uneducated, and verbally abuses her a lot. B- she really doesn’t keep up with the housework in a satisfactory manner and C- she is constantly pressuring me about money and so on.

To be fair, I’ve been late with about $100 or so of her past few bi-weekly payments, but I’ve always paid her after a few days and arranged for all her favorite foods, icecreams, etc. I buy her whatever liquor she wants, whatever clothes she wants. She gets the full $1500 by month’s end and I get stuck with all the bills and working my tushy off to make ends meet. Then, she makes little remarks here and there about her using her own detergent to do family laundry (I’ve ALWAYS bought her detergent, so not sure what she is talking about!) and asking the rest of the family not to eat her icecream that she spent with her money. But I buy her everything and share everything I own with her!

She loves my kids which is why I have kept her around. But she alienates the rest of the family by constantly being on the phone with mark during family dinners and so on. I know I am remiss in being late on her pay, but the economy is horrible and we just had to move, my pay was cut by 50% and I am just not sure how to make ends meet, yet I do so!

Am I paying her too much, considering she gets her entire life funded by ME, or am I wrong? I know she works hard but NOT as hard as I do, yet at the end of the day I am the one in the beggar’s position! and SHE gets to keep all MY money! Is it ok for her to make these insensitive remarks about her stuff when I work so hard to include her into our family? I treat her like a little sister.

Am I wrong here and she is right, or am I being used and should stop being so soft hearted with this girl and let her find out just how tough the REAL world is?