I’ve been resentful of a lot of things in my life. I went to the wrong high school when I should have gone to the school my friends went to. My parents pressured me so much that I couldn’t make a decision. I went to high school and made new friends but I wanted to go to the school my friends went to. I went and spoke to the principal of the other school but my parents never did anything. And so I finished and tried to move on in college and tried my very best to erase the bad years which when I look back wouldn’t have happened if I had gone to the school my friends were at. During the years in college, I worked hard to better myself, became a camp counsellor, became close with my old friends again. I reconnected with my friends, there was ball hockey, clubs, movies, catching up over a brew etc. But in spite of all the accolades I achieve it couldn’t erase all that had come before. I tried to make peace with myself but it was hard.

Eventually things became stable, though I couldn’t help the feeling that I was pursuing the wrong career path. Eventually down the rode I went to see a social worker who refered me to a psychiatrist. I was uncomfortable seeing the psychiatrist. And after 2 appointments realized that I would be really uncomfortable seeing this guy. This was at a period of my life where I was having some trouble making decisions. And so the social worker convinced me to still see him. I sometimes hate myself for buying into his nonsense. I also felt that he gave bad advice and should have realized that if this was someone who I would see on an ongoing basis then I should be somewhat comfortable seeing this person.

And so it didn’t work out too well and some time elapsed. Then my uncle died and things became grim for a while. Some months passed and sometimes I would get resentful for the little things like if my folks were going away for the day they would invite me but never ask me if i was coming. I would say that I would tell them but assumed they would ask me. And they would end up living the next day and I would be resentful over the lack of communication that happened or misinterpretation.

And then I had an encounter with the police where I was thought to have been a pedaphile but was just somebody who liked going to the park a lot so I could read my book and figure out what I would do with my life because I was really usure and afraid of the future. Career and dreams of achieving great ambitions were on my mind but I was afraid and concerned that I may change my mind halfway through like i did with my other career path.

Of course I was curtious with the police and co-operated but I’ve been blamed a lot in my life for the wrong things and at times I’d get upset that everytime I try to do the right thing I get in trouble for it.

I apologize but I needed to discuss this and was wondering if anybody had any opinions they would like to share.

I would like to thank everybody for taking the time to read this.
To Zaphod_Beeblebrox, it’s not about getting over it, I’m really confused about things and with all due respect I was never saying that my problems were bigger then anybody elses. I simply needed to talk. It’s sometimes difficult not to dwell on the past, especially when you’re unsure of your future. I’ll admit I am lucky to have a home and a family but these are times of confusion for me. I’m sure that there are those who may not understand but can at least relate to some of the times I am saying.

For what it’s worth i’m sorry you had such trying times but I like anybody else felt the need to share my feelings with the yahoo community.

Regardless, I think there are some good points you made and it sounds like you have made it through and with high hopes are doing ok.