Need to tell my bf the truth - dont know how. My mom is overbearing.?
I NEED TO GROW UP - MOM WONT LET ME! HELP!?
I already posted this once, but my situation has gotten worse over night!

I will try to make this as short as possible, even though my situation is extremely complicated.

I am a 21 year old female, and I live at home with my parents, who just so happened to be divorced. They got divorced when I was 9. When I was about 13, my dad started experiencing problems with his blood pressure, and he moved in with my mom and I. They sleep in separate rooms, they live like roommates. My dad has no family here in the US, and he has been estranged from his family for the past 32 years since he moved here with my mom and her family. Her family is basically the only family he has. SO even after the divorce, my dad had always been around and hanging out with my moms family. My brother is 29, divorced with 2 kids (ages 6 and and living with his girlfriend. SO thats how my family is arranged.

Like i said, I am 21 years old, and I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. Every boyfriend or relationship I had before him I hid from my parents and family. Only my brother and a few of my cousins knew about my previous relationships.. They all ended thanks to my mom and the relationship I have with her.

I love my boyfriend with every piece of my heart, and I am certain he feels the same about me. However, my mom is coming between us.

I am not allowed to visit his house, I am not allowed to stay out past 10pm with him, when we go out we have to go in separate cars because she doesnt allow me to ride in the car with him. Actually, just a few months ago she started letting him pick me up at home before we’d go to dinner or movies, and thats just because my brother was borrowing my car to go to work.

I always have to lie to my parents and to my boyfriend. He doesnt know that my parents are like that. I have always been too embarrassed to tell him. Every single time that we have stayed out past midnight it has been because I lied to my mom and said I was sleeping over my brother’s or my cousin’s house, and then we’d all go out in a big group. He thinks I am allowed to go out and allowed to be hanging out at his house.

The truth is, I’m lying to my parents every single time. In 2 years, he has only been to my house to visit me about 4 or 5 times, and thats because im afraid of my mom saying something ridiculous.

My mom thinks the world revolves around sex. She wants me to be a virgin until I get married, and thats why I am not allowed to visit my boyfriend, I’m not allowed to spend too much time with him, and I am not allowed to go out past a certain time. She says that spending too much time together will lead to sex. Sometimes she tells me that the only thing he wants is to see if he can get anything from me. I always tell her its not what he can get, but what I am willing to give. And as long as I dont give then everything should be fine.

Whenever my boyfriend wants to stay out late, I pretend that I feel sick, or I lie saying that I have to study. Some times I have even faked going on a trip with my family for the weekend just so I wont be put in the position of having to stay out late with him.

It sickens me that I have become such a good liar. He believes me 100% and it makes me feel guilty.

My boyfirend and I have broken up a few times because he says I dont have time for him. That although all my excuses may be legitimate, he always feels like he is taking the backseat in my life.

A few weeks ago I told my mom I was going to a friends house to watch a football game, and she went crazy. It was broad daylight out, but she said she knows what goes on at people’s houses. I told her I was going and I just went. She called me 95 times, she cried, she screamed, faked chest pains and then when I got home at around 8pm, there was an abulance in front of my house. Apparently I made her blood pressure go up and she felt like she was having a stroke. The list of things she has done could go on and on.

Whenever I go anywhere, my cellphone rings about 10-18 times (not an exaggeration, but actual figures) and it is ALWAYS her. If I don’t answer, she will call incessently until I do. If I tell her to call me less, or only as needed, she thinks I’m out doing something bad (sex) with my boyfriend. It drives him crazy that my phone is always ringing.

She has driven my nervous system out of wack. Even when my phone is NOT ringing, I still have to check it 99 times to make sure she hasn’t called.

NEW:
My boyfriend is completely running out of patience with my situation. He says that he’s 23 and I’m 21 and we are in a serious relationship, not like the ones when we were in high school. He says he sees himself building a life with me one day, but that if things don’t change he doesn’t see how that could ever happen. I know he is on the edge right now and really ca
I work with my mom, and I make good money for someone my age.

I have no bills to pay, my parents pay for everything for me, but at the same time, I also go to school.

So the deal with them is, I go to school and work with them, I get paid but they pay for my car, car ins, cellphone, etc.

I have to wake up every morning, go to school, come straight to my mom’s office (she’s the owner) and listen to her ALL day.

I have been trying to find a job for weeks, but have been unsuccessful. When I told her I was looking for a job, she had a fit and said that I’m just trying to break loose from her and get freedom so I can do God knows what - - meaning bad stuff like sex. Thats all she thinks about.
I think its funny how so many of you have replied for me to get off my butt, when I am a FULL-TIME student and I work my ass off 6 days a week in my mom’s business. and I DID say I had been on a job hunt for weeks.

If you’re not going to be constructive or actually read what I wrote then why bother?

Thank you to those of you who have answered constructively!