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I met my girlfriend in high school 7 years ago (When she was 18 years old), around the second month that we were dating I asked her about any special secrets that she had that I didn’t know about, suddenly, I noticed that she got really nervous as if she was hiding something from me, as soon as I noticed this, I pressured her into telling me what was the matter. She started crying and told me that she made a huge mistake when she was 17 years old… she said to me that she got caught with a cell-phone that was given to her by her cousin-husband so that they could send each other messages, I asked Claudia if this guy had ever forced her to do something or if this guy had ever touch her… Claudia’s response at the time was NO. Due to her response, I though that this guy had only tried to get her to do things, but that nothing had happen between them, so I decided to move on and forget about it.
Problem is that now…After living together with Claudia for 5 years (even buying a house together) I asked her more information about what had happened in her past hoping that she would answer me the same way she did 7 years ago, but unfortunately, she said to me that one day when she got off early from high school and called her cousin’s husband to hang out…which led them to a hotel room where he had oral sex with her. Apparently, the guy tried to do more things with her, but she stopped him and put her clothes back on. I asked Claudia why she didn’t tell me truth 7 years ago, and she replied to me saying that she was afraid, and that at the time she didn’t trust me to tell me. I asked her why she didn’t seek for help to stop this guy, she said that she tried to so by talking to a preach whose solution was to ask her to move in with him, which hopefully didn’t happen. How am I supposed to believe that she is telling me the whole truth? Is she supposed to be blamed for her pass? I would like to move on! How can I get myself to chill out about it
Extra info:
My girlfriend (Claudia) was sent to the United States from Mexico by her parents with a temporary visa so that she could go to high-school and learn English, At first, she lived with her grandmother ,but due to Claudia’s loneliness and depression of being alone and not knowing anyone, she was removed from her grandmother’s house, and transferred to her aunt’s house who lived in Texas as well. While staying at her aunt’s house she met her cousin(Diana) who was married to a guy named Jason who was a policeman at the time. Long story short, Claudia would always go to Diana’s house to babysit Diana’s and Jason’s kids, but while being there she noticed that Diana’s husband would always try to seduce her, especially while Diana was either asleep or absent…Claudia would always reject Diana’s husband advances, but as time when by Claudia became friends with Jason and started giving in on some of this guy advances. At the time, Jason was 32 years old and Claudia 17.
As a result:
-Claudia’s mom came to Texas to tell the police about what had happen
-Jason was asked to resign to his policeman position (He wasn’t fired, and doesn’t have any criminal charges) so that means that he could get a job as a policeman anywhere else in the country, because he is not registered as a sex offender)
-Diana and Jason remain married together
-Claudia was removed from Texas and now lives somewhere else where she doesn’t have contact with any of this people.
-Claudia and myself used to get along very well.
-she states that she has moved on
I’m currently talking with a therapist and a priest, both of them help me out a lot to understand the problem, but after a few hours of visiting with them I always start going down hill with pessimist thoughts, and I always find my self in the same place where I was before. How can I stop myself from doing that?